The Great Video Game Drinking Game

Games are fun. So is drinking, especially when sharing the experience with fellow gaming alcoholics. That is why I created an in-depth drinking game that can be applied to any and all games. This drinking game even works while watching other people stream their games over the internet with others. So, let’s get started!

Level up system? Increase the alcohol percentage with each level you gain.

Power of friendship speech? Drink your friend’s drink

Obvious on-disc DLC? Order your next drinks online

Character wakes up with amnesia? Chug down your drink until you black out.

Character loses powers after intro? Drink until you can’t walk or hold the controller.

Long cutscenes? Keep drinking until the cutscenes end.

Slow-motion effects? Very slowly sip your drink.

Tutorial that overexplains the most basic things? Read the ingredients from the can/bottle’s label for the duration of it.

Backtracking? Time to walk back to the nearest store for more drinks. Keep drinking on your way there.

Underwater level. Pour contents of bottle/can over your head.

Lockpicking minigame. Try opening a corked bottle without any tools.

Collectibles? Walk around the house, collecting and counting all your booze.

Game tries to force an emotional bond with a dog. Give the rest of your drink to a dog.

DRM getting in the way of your game? Try drinking from an unopened can/bottle.

Moral choice! Time to decide on what to drink!

Bloody screen. Clean your eyesight with alcohol.

Driving segment. Give the controller to a friend. Drunk driving is not good. Take a drink every time your friend loses.

Drink each time you use a potion or consumable item of any kind.

Critical hit? Take a deep gulp.

Each time you hear Nolan North or Steve Blum as a different character, drink.

Whenever the game locks you out of the campaign in order to force you to take on sidequests or roam, keep drinking until you forget why you’re not progressing anymore.

Achievement or trophy unlocked? Reward yourself with a drink.

Found a new piece of equipment? Open up a new drink.

Lava level? Drink something heated.

Have an AI teammate you have to work together with? Get a friend to feed you your drinks for as long as that teammate is around.

Teammate dead or passed out? Feed your friend drinks until he passes out.

Forgot where you’re supposed to be going? Keep drinking until you remember.

Timed mission. You have to finish your drink as well as finish the mission within the time limit. If you fail and the mission restarts, open up a new drink. attempt both again.

Flashbacks? Start going through empty cans and bottles. If there’s anything left in them to drink, finish them up.

Picking up a sidequest? Pick up an extra drink next to your current one.

Chains? Combos? Take a shot for each successive hit/chain.

Sequel hook. You know that feeling where you want another drink? Good, because you’re going to keep holding on to that for a while. No drinks for you.

Not-So-Cryptic Post-credit Sequel Hook. Okay, maybe half a drink is okay.

New Game+. Fine. Drink more.

Endgame content. Scour the house for stuff that contains alcohol after having finished all the drinks.

References to internet memes. Drink all the Alcohols! All of it!

Forced study into meta gaming. Study how much alcohol your system can handle, and what the most effective way to get drunk is. Then celebrate your game plan by taking a drink.

Break the game. Shotgun the rest of your drink.

Spin on real events or literature that misses its own point with the game mechanics. Break a bottle on your head.

Unwinnable fight. Spend the entire fight trying to drink from an unopened can/bottle.

Final Boss changes into his final form. Finish entire drink with each new form.

Escort mission. Feed your friend your drink while playing the mission without pausing.

Artsy indie game. Foreign trappist craftbeer only.

Smash Bros. No glass. No cooling. Straight from the bottle only. Final Destination.

Physics puzzle. Prop the drink on one side of a seesaw and jump on the other side. If the drink hits your mouth, you win.

Fishing minigame. Take a drink without using your hands in the process.

Hype about rare cosmetic items? Make a small papercraft hat, put it on top of your can/bottle. Now take a shot without removing the hat.

Accidentally choosing you want to read the explanation again after mashing buttons to skip the explanation. Keep chugging down a drink until you feel like you can’t continue. Then proceed anyway.

Someone says Nintendo is going the way of the Dreamcast. Waterboard them with the strongest stuff you’ve got.

Killstreaks?
-Three kills? UAV is online! Friend feeds you a drink.
-Five kills? Airstrike! Friend throws a full can at your head.
-Seven kills? Helicopter! Friend empties can over your head.

Loading screen. Sit down. Shut up. Drink.

High scores? Compare how much you’ve had to drink with your friends. Now drink more than them.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s