And So It Ends…

I’m flying back to the Netherlands next week.

At least, if everything goes right in terms of airplanes, e-tickets, and whatnot. You can never tell with those things. Yeah, I’m distrustful of them, despite the fact that I’ve not had a single problem with them. I just know enough people who have countless horror stories and are willing to share them at any possible time.

It’s the same with flying. I quite like the act itself. The act of being pressed inside a big metallic tube. Two slick, pointy things sticking out, wings they call them. Being flung over the pond at breakneck speeds. As much as it feels like the idea itself should terrify me, I find it quite enjoyable. Especially with a window seat that isn’t located right at the damn wings. I’ve learned my lessons about reading Vonnegut on planes too. Not quite sure what I’m reading this time, perhaps give American Gods another chance… As long as there’s no storm or newspaper reading strangers that know my name sitting next to me, I should be fine.

It’s going to be weird, being back. I hadn’t expected to be back in the Netherlands until at least somewhere during fall or winter. Even then, I expected only to come back on a sorta holiday-type deal. See some familiar people, places, family, and fuck off back to home again. Instead, I’m moving back. Next week, that’s going to be my home again. The feeling it gives me is one of massive awkwardness. It’s nice seeing some people again, and there are some perks to it, but it’s not something I really wanted as a choice.

This whole experience, my time in England, has been a strange time. I don’t think I’ve ever had a time quite as turbulent and full of ups and downs quite like this before. I can still look at it positively though. I’ve learned quit a deal in my short time here. As much as the words like “failure”  and “waste of effort”  like to float around my mind, I know better than that. I learned a quite a deal here. I’ll have to think a bit further before going into that in more detail, but I can promise a future post on that soon enough.

One thing is for sure though: I’m not giving up.

I am more comfortable in England than I have been in the Netherlands. As much as my Twitter might have given a contradictory image, I am happy about quite a few things. Like how I was right about this place, it is somewhere I really want to be. It made accepting that it was time to head back all the harder. Then again, going back doesn’t have to be a permanent thing. There can always be a next time. Plus with all I’ve learned, there’s a bigger chance that things will work out the way I want them to next time.

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